Toxic People: It's Okay to Cut Them Off

Realizing that there are toxic people around you is one thing, but what if those people are the closest to you? What if they're friends or family? What if they're your boyfriend or girlfriend? What if they're your parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles? What if you don't realize they're toxic until later?

If there's a point where you may feel or believe someone is "toxic", cutting them off shouldn't be a doubt, worry or a second thought. Cutting off toxic people can be hard at first because you don't want to come off harsh, but that shouldn't stop you. You have to come to the realization of your self-worth and you have to realize how toxic someone is being, because there's levels to it.

Identifying toxic people can be difficult to spot and difficult to get out of it, but once you decide you've had enough and do your research or seek advice, it's life changing!

You may care deeply about people and their relationship to you, you may feel as though you need them or can't see your life without them. You may feel or believe you are nothing without their support or presence. You may not even see their negative impact in your life. You deserve better and you can make it through without them!

Toxic people/behaviors include:

- Controlling or limiting beliefs/ limiting possibilities

- Manipulation/ Gaslighting

- Blaming You or Others for what happens to them/ Playing the Victim

- Passive Aggression

- Negative/Pessimistic attitude, projecting negativity

- Criticizing everything, Judgmental

- Guilt Tripping

- Never taking responsibility/ In Denial

- Never Apologizing

- Forcing you to defend yourself/ Giving ultimatums

- Never Supportive

- Wanting all the attention

- Lacking empathy/ lacking sympathy

- Habitual lying

- Abusive (verbal, mental, physical, emotional, financial, sexual, privilege, isolation, intimidation, coercion, threats)

- Making up their own versions of the truth

- Never Listening to you

- Interrupting you a lot

- Never Admitting when they are wrong

- Never doing for you what you do for them

- Always rude, petty or sarcastic

- Selfishness

- Entitlement

- Arrogant/ Know-It-All's

- Jealousness

- Holding Grudges

- Comparing you to Others/ Putting you down

- Forcing/Expecting Perfectionism

- Constant Complaining

- Full of Excuses/ Unreliable

- Reminding you of all they've done for you

- Using things against you/ Throwing things back in your face

Removing toxicity out of your life can be hard if you don't know how. So here are some steps on spotting these traits and how to get rid of the people that have them:

1. If it doesn't make you feel right, it isn't, recognize the red flags/ listen to your gut

2. If someone offends you, hurts you, angers you or diminishes repeatedly, get away from them

3. Cut them short, stop hanging out, being around or making time for people like this = take control, put a stop to it

4. Break up, put space in between the relationship

5. Set boundaries for yourself

6. Don't treat toxic people like a revolving door, when it's done it's done!

7. Don't continue to allow someone to treat you in ways you disapprove of, stand up for yourself

8. Surround yourself with more positive, caring, loving and healthy people

9. If they're holding you back, let them go

10. Put yourself first, do more of what makes you happy

11. Forgive (if possible and if the person is showing they're improving) but don't forget and move forward

12. Communicate your feelings, if you don't, things will keep happening

13. Don't get drawn or sucked into their BS, avoid falling into their traps, build resistance

14. Don't be too nice, be firm, don't let anyone take advantage of you

15. Realize it's not up to you to save other people, it's not your responsibility

16. Stop answering to those that are toxic, you don't have to explain or prove anything

Once you do remove toxic people from your life, you will feel so much lighter, positive, hopeful, limitless, less stressed, happy, encouraged, motivated and empowered. It's one of the best and most peaceful feelings. You start to reclaim parts of you back, you begin to repair and heal. Remember, it's okay to cut off toxic people.