Relationships: The Building Stage

Reaching the "building" stage is when dating someone happens with intention, a common

goal of building a future together.

At this stage, things are typically serious, you and your partner have gone through several incidents of communication issues, trust issues, worries, desires, battles with oneself, external drama and personal trials and tribulations. Yet, you've been through a lot of happy moments and great meaningful memories like couple trips, meeting the family, random or planned ride-a-longs and doing whatever makes you happy (individually and together).

After 2 years of dating, I have reached that "building" stage, the first one: Moving in together. Besides talking about engagement, marriage and kids from time to time, building together can seem so close yet so far sometimes.

You can know you want to save together, but outside influences and circumstances or a global pandemic(Covid-19) can impact that heavily. You can want to move in together, but other financial struggles take over and it seems like there's obstacle after obstacle in your way.

You can want to plan couples/group trips or vacations but something more pressing comes up. You can find other avenues to generate an income, let's say "side hustles" like starting your own business and set things in motion, but clients stop reaching out or your promotion tactics may need improvement.

There are always going to be things in your path, things you plan and a lot of things you don't expect. Then comes the feeling of "it's all too much", or "nothing is going right" and it feels like goals are slipping further away and plans are being placed on the back burner.

This is the time where leaning on each other are very important to your growth, motivation, happiness and success as a couple still with that "building a future together" mindset. Another thing to do is to rely on your support groups and resources such as role models, ideal family members, like-minded or productive and inspiring friends or mentors.

All of those people are vital pieces of a much bigger puzzle and sometimes all it takes is reaching out to someone, sharing struggles with the right people and allowing others to help you or give advice to better help your situation.

What's most important in the "building" stage is setting aside time to have relationship talk about the future. Potentially mapping out your lives together can encourage the concept of working together as a couple to achieve desired tasks and goals.

Not being afraid to be honest is another helpful thing to do with your partner. Being honest about not being where you you aimed to be, being honest about each other's decision making, feelings and thoughts are important too. Speaking your mind about agreements, disagreements, worries, concerns or actions are major.

Becoming a duo or becoming a team has an impact too, who's great without their "partner-in-crime", their soulmate or their side-kick? Working together on each other goals, dreams, visions and ups and downs are significant to a couple's growth and happiness.

Entering the "building" stage myself, I'm giving this advice as well as planning to take it in more ways than I already have. Building sets up for the present as well as the future and provides a lot of perspective as well as clarity during uncertain times.

I know moving in together for Dre and I is a big step, and I believe we are ready to take it within the following year. Good things are coming in Spring/Summer of 2021 because 2020 has been heavy.